Big day

And I say that in a completely ironic, sarcastic way. It has been the complete opposite of productive around here and, funnily enough, I am extremely proud of that fact.

I have no idea what Geek and I are going to do for dinner. I have not got the faintest clue where the last three hours have disappeared to (there may have been a nap involved).

Today was a day for apathy. I am totally over it.

Work sucks. The job I am doing is destroying my soul at a rate of knots and it is crushing my spirit along with it.

The job that I want to do, as far as I am aware, doesn't actually exist. There are TAFE courses that I can do, but they will give me a piece of paper that qualifies me to do precisely nothing that will earn me any money... and not only do we have a mortgage to finance, we have to cats relying on us for sustenance and dammit my kitties will not go hungry!

What I really want to do with my life- what I've wanted to do for as long as I can remember, is be a mum.

My secondary ambition (the one that is likely to make me money, and that I can likely manage to do at the same time as raising a brood of kidlets) is to be a writer.

Now, I don't care if it's journalism, blogging, fiction, research, proofreading, editing or beta-reading fanfiction- if I can get paid to read and write as a professional, my life will be complete.

I already beta read, and this blog is my attempt at making sure that I get some regular writing out (I know, I need more discipline... but between the seizure/syncope issues and some less than fantastic attempts to upgrade my computer I've been a little preoccupied with real life to blog regularly), but with the love and support of my Geek I may well be going back to TAFE next year to do a Certificate IV in Professional Writing and Editing.

God only knows what I can do with that qualification, but a few years ago when I mentioned perhaps undertaking that course one of my not-so-lovely relatives said 'Oh, yeah, that'll be as useful as a philosophy degree!'

So I didn't do it.

But now... now I have a chance to maybe do something that will make me a bit happier. Maybe if I start a full-time course I can drop the soul-crushing hours to 15 or so a fortnight -one or two nights per week- and get myself into a better frame of mind.

I'll keep you posted. Promise.